“Four Corners: New Eatery Fad” Winchester ad
Transcript
Warblettes: (Singing)
Birthday one, honey bun
Won’t you be our birthday one?
Crusty: (Singing)
Please say yes!
Jasper T. Jowls: (Singing)
Don’t say no!
Warblettes: (Singing)
And we’ll tell the world!
Chuck E. Cheese:
By now it’s probably no surprise to anybody that we got a birthday number coming up here!
Jasper T. Jowls:
Well it’s a surprise to me, I didn’t even get a present!
Crusty:
Me neither Big C!
Chuck E. Cheese:
That’s cause it’s not your birthday nitwits!
Crusty & Jasper T. Jowls:
Oh yeah! Hahaha!
Chuck E. Cheese:
Jeez folks I gotta tell ya, it’s a tough way to make a living sitting up here-
Narrator:
This is Chuck E. Cheese, a computer animated rat with a New Jersey accent. He’s the master of ceremonies, leading a troop of puppet like characters who perform a computerized cabaret every 8 minutes from the walls of the dimly lit pizza parlor.
Jasper T. Jowls:
Let’s hear a rebel yell from the birthday table! YEHAAAAW!
Narrator:
Executives say that within 10 years, Chuck E. Cheese will be more popular than Mickey Mouse. For their master plan involves 1,000 pizza time theatre’s, strategically located in middle class communities across the United States.
Chuck E. Cheese:
We certainly are, we certainly are! So come on ladies, hit it!
Warblettes: (Singing)
Birthday one, honey bun
Won’t you be our birthday one?
Crusty: (Singing)
Please say yes!
Narrator:
So far there are 6, with 3 more under construction and another 3 on the drawing boards. The idea’s already spread to Japan, and it’s only a matter of time before Chuck E. Cheese makes his debut in Australia.
Chuck E. Cheese:
Hold it, hold it! Wait a minute. That song was making me very dizzy.
Crusty:
You want a more traditional approach Big C?
Chuck E. Cheese:
I certainly do, yes!
Jasper T. Jowls:
Like what?
Chuck E. Cheese:
Like “Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday to you”, you get it?
Warblettes:
Got it!
Chuck E. Cheese:
Phew, alright but first let’s get the actual birthday person to stand up here!
Narrator:
It took 1 and 1/2 million dollars to research and develop Pizza Time Theatre’s. And Chuck E. Cheese executives like Gene Landrum claim the new concept is years ahead of the more traditional fast food outlets.
Gene Landrum:
I believe it’s primarily called the synergism of games, food, and entertainment all under the same roof. Uh- we have a concept here, we’ve married the entertainment of the animals, talking, singing, and telling jokes, birthdays for groups, along with the food which is a very fun food. Pizza being the- the- perceived as the funnest food when you go out in a group and have a party. And uh- at least in America. And of course we’ve married the new computerized electronic games so that uh- children can play games while the mom and dad are drinking and eating, etc.
Narrator:
In other words, it’s like an electronic babysitter. You can enjoy the illusion of family night out, without having to be bothered by the family.
Gene Landrum:
The children can then run off and play games, can be entertained with the animals singing and talking and telling jokes.
Narrator:
Chuck E. Cheese researchers say that the idea is very popular with workaholic dads, who are suffering from what they call “YEG”. Young executive guilt. When this guilt does drive dad into taking the kids out, guess who decides where they’ll go?
Gene Landrum:
In this country it’s primarily the child who’s making that decision because I think it’s the guilt orientation of dad being away, out of town on business, not spending enough time with the family and I happen to have a 4 year old and when she asks me “Hey dad, can I go to the Pizza Time Theatre?” Or McDonalds or whatever, yknow I uh- I have a tough time resisting that.
[Song: Funiculi, Funicula (Italia Mia - Mantovani)]
Pasqually: (singing)
Halaaah
You know I’m here to make-a-da pizza
‘Cause-a that’s my line
Warblettes: (singing)
He does it fine
Pasqually: (singing)
But aaall the things I need to make-a-da mixture
Are harder to find
Warblettes: (singing)
Cause he’s inclined
Pasqually: (singing)
Mozzarella, macaroni, mush-a-room, and parmesean
Warblettes: (singing)
Toss in the pan
Pasqually: (singing)
Milanesa, mortadella, onions, and parmesean
Warblettes: (singing)
Oh that’s a lot
Pasqually: (singing)
Pizza, pizza, pizza in the air
Pizza, pizza, pizza
Narrator:
As for the pizzas, well they take 15-20 minutes to prepare and cook. Which gives the youngsters time to get hooked on the electronic games. And to help them get started, free tokens are issued with each purchase. But of course each game only lasts a few minutes, which means the kids are soon pestering dad to shell out for more tokens. Dad quickly learns that even an electronic babysitter has to be paid.
Gene Landrum:
Exactly, in fact that’s what we found. We have varied statistically trying to figure out: what is the spending behavior of the American public? And what happens is uh- when you uh- vary the amount of tokens you give them you would expect to see some changing of the numbers in terms of how much they spend. It’s seems like when people come in they always have a discretionary amount of dollars they can spend for entertainment, that doesn’t vary much with how much we give them free.
Interviewer:
Do you get many 5 dollar bills through that machine?
Gene Landrum:
Yeah probably, 20% of our revenue is generated through the $5. That’s because we are one of the few things kinda uh- uh- eating out, family concepts in America that’s aimed at groups.
Chuck E. Cheese:
Alright, alright. Now, everyone in the audience is gonna sing along here. We’re gonna do this nice and simple.
Gene Landrum:
One thing that we did find, when you have a birthday party, the spending where it’s typically an average of $10, it’s higher for birthday parties. And people uh- have more discretionary money to spend in a birthday environment or a group environment.
Kids:
Happy Birthday to you. Happy Birthday dear Amanda.
Narrator:
As the children sing along with the computer, another version of Chuck E. Cheese is taking shape in the kitchen. The big spending birthday parties get a person welcome from the super sized rodent. And judging by Chuck E. Cheese’s sales figures, the youngsters lap it up.
Interviewer:
Excuse me? Do you think you spend more coming here than you would at a normal food outlet?
Woman:
Yes.
Interviewer:
How much more? Half as much? Twice as much?
Woman:
Uh- probably twice as much.
Interviewer:
Do you think you’re getting your value for money out of it?
Woman:
Yeah, the kids love it.
Narrator:
So much do they love it that the average family group spends just over $10, compared with about $5.75 at more conventional pizza outlets. This one Pizza Time Theatre alone takes in more than half a million dollars a year. Towards the end of the week, customers cue for over an hour just to get inside. Even though the pizzas are much dearer than in neighboring restaurants.
Gene Landrum:
You expect to pay more when you get free entertainment, when you go to a venue at Vegas and see Sinatra uh- you uh- will pay a premium for your steak that you buy.
Interviewer:
You’re not comparing Frank Sinatra with Chuck E. Cheese though are you?
Gene Landrum:
Well oh uh no way! I wouldn’t call him an animal. Hahaha! In any case, uh- the uh- people who are willing to pay the premium we have raised our prices 15%.
Dolli Dimples: (Singing)
The stars at night
Are big and bright
Deep in the heart of Texas
The prairie sky
Is wide and high
Deep in the heart of Texas
Narrator:
Dolli Dimples, the singing hippopotamus, is powered by a computer system capable of handling 415 instructions per second. Dolli has a repertoire of more than 20 medleys. And a bosom that rises and falls with compressed air.
Dolli Dimples:
This song was for my second husband Eugene who used to ride with the Texas rangers.
Dolli Dimples: (Singing)
He’s a long tall Texan
He wears a 10 gallon hat
Narrator:
The company’s ultimate aim is to create a cutesy fantasy world in every neighborhood. To bring a mini Disneyland to your doorstep. And of course, to help your children spend a lot more of your money.
Dolli Dimples: (Singing)
The eyes of Texas are upon you
Till Gabriel blows his horn
Dolli Dimples:
Well if you liked what I did there, let’s plan on doing it again later, see ya.