Roast Beef Sandwich and a Pizza

[Banjo jingle plays for 20s]

[Banjo and piano plays quietly over speech]

Billy Bob:
Howdy folks, I'm Billy Bob. That's three B's, two L's, a I, a Y, and a O. (laughs)
Its real nice yall could drop in on me today, things gets kinda quiet here at Smitty's Super Service Station sometimes. What with the gas sit-i-ation the way it is n' all.⁽¹⁾ We've had to stop selling gasoline altogether.
Once it got past twenty five cent a gallon, I didn't have no more friends what could afford it no-how. But... things'll be alright soon- (worrysome)
Cause, as you can see, I'm making up a new fangled formula down here on the floor. (excitedly)
Yeah its made of lots of good stuff and its in this little container and its gets all boiled up n' everything, and it comes out this long tube...

[Billy Bob plays his guitar strings higher then lower in pitch while explaining]

All the way down into this barrel, and I call it Gas-O-Hol. Yeah, we can use it in our car, or drink it!

Billy Bob & Looney Bird: (singing)
And havin' such a wonderful day

Billy Bob:
Hey there Looney Bird! (excitedly)

Looney Bird:
Hey there Billy Bob! (screaming)

Billy Bob:
Folks, I'd like ya to meet my friend here, this here's the Looney Bird!

[Billy Bob twangs his guitar in a high pitch]

I can't afford a watchdog, so Looney Bird here moved in to watch over my secret formula!

[Another guitar twang]

How much Gas-O-Hol we got so far Looney Bird?

Looney Bird:
Just a minute Billy Bob I'll go check and see!

[Another guitar twang]

Billy Bob:
Here's probably gonna measure real accurate like exactly how much Gas-O-Hol we got.

[Guitar twangs in a worrying fashion]

[Elongated slurping noises made by Looney Bird]

[Guitar twangs drunkenly]

Looney Bird:
We ain't got too much yet Billy Bob. (worried)

Billy Bob:
Oh dear.

Looney Bird:
I guess you better put on some more corn squeezin's huh Billy Bob?

Billy Bob:
Yeah I guess I better. I just hope the Looney Bird don't become some kinda Gas-O-Holic. Hey Looney Bird, its time for your favorite part of the show! (excitedly)

Looney Bird:
You mean its time to go already-?

Billy Bob:
No! I mean its time to get down and get funky- sort of.

[Song: Roast Beef Sandwich]

Billy Bob: (singing)
Roast beef sandwich and a- pizza
Roast beef sandwich and a- pizza
John and Jane and all the gang are gonna have themselves a ball
Eating roast beef sandwich and a- pizza
Roast beef sandwich and a- pizza
Roast beef sandwich and a- pizza
All the fellas and the chicks gettin' calories and kicks
Eating roast beef sandwich and a- pizza

Billy Bob & Looney Bird: (singing)
Chompin' to the music of the jukebox
Anybody got another dime?
Chompin' to the music of the jukebox cause
We're havin' such a wonderful time

Billy Bob: (singing)
Just eating roast beef sandwich and a- pizza
Roast beef sandwich and a- pizza
Its terrific daddy-o
How the kids at school will go
For a roast beef sandwich and a- pizza

[Guitar solo]

Billy Bob & Looney Bird: (singing)
Chompin' to the music of the jukebox
Anybody got another dime?
Hand it down and drop it in the jukebox cause
We're havin' such a wonderful time

Billy Bob: (singing)
Just eating roast beef sandwich and a- pizza
Roast beef sandwich and a- pizza

Billy Bob With Looney Bird:(singing)
Its terrific, its the most
And its happenin' coast-to-coast

Billy Bob: (singing)
Eating roast beef sandwich and a- pizza!

[Song ends]

Billy Bob:

So long everybody! See you next time!

[Banjo jingle plays for 20s]