July 1996 Segment 2
Transcript
Chuck E. Cheese:
Hello there, everybody. Hi kids, how ya doing? I’d like to introduce myself but shucks, that’s my name right over the door
Mr. Munch:
What, your name is exit?
Pasqually: [Laughs]
Exit
Chuck E. Cheese:
No, my name isn’t exit. I mean my name is over the door on the way in
Mr. Munch:
Oh
Chuck E. Cheese:
I’m Chuck E. Cheese. Singer, dancer, athlete, entertainer, and now an inventor. Presenting my awesome adventure machine
All:
Ooh
Jasper T. Jowls:
Ooh wee, that sure is something. Where did you learn so much about science, Chuck E.?
Chuck E. Cheese:
Well I don’t wanna brag, but my uncle was a famous lab rat
Jasper T. Jowls:
Gosh
Helen Henny:
You know, your adventure machine sort of looks like a tv
Chuck E. Cheese:
Well, it started as a tv. But the girls and boys here told me what sort of adventures they’d like to have. And I put all sorts of gadgets and gizmos and fancy computer stuff inside to make it work
Pasqually:
What, there’s computers in that thing?
Chuck E. Cheese:
Oh sure, the adventure machine has got lots of computer stuff in it. Yep, we’re right out there on the computer frontier
Jasper T. Jowls:
Hey, is that anything like the Wild West frontier?
Chuck E. Cheese:
Could be, could be. Jasper, you’ve just given me a great idea
Jasper T. Jowls:
Oh?
Mr. Munch:
There’s a first time for everything
Chuck E. Cheese:
If everyone out there will use a little imagination and watch my adventure machine, we’ll see what happens when the computer frontier meets the Wild West
Jasper T. Jowls:
Yee haw
Mr. Munch:
Alright
Chuck E. Cheese:
Yee haw.
Somewhere out in the Wild,
Wild West there’s a town where they like computers best.
Instead of guns they all have CPU’s.
Which brings us around to the legend of two high tech types and the girl they loved.
The day they met, one of them had to lose
Chuck E. Cheese & Jasper T. Jowls:
Two computer cowboys only one could be the best
at the Silicon Valley Showdown fastest mouse in the west
Chuck E. Cheese:
Down in a Silicon Valley saloon,
Pasqually The Kid was playing Doom
And racking up an all time real high score.
When suddenly something blocked the sun.
It was Wyatt Burp, the only one
whose shaggy figure could have filled that door
Mr. Munch:
I’m looking for a certain female,
name of Helen, met her on Email.
Thought I’d like to log on for a chat
Chuck E. Cheese:
Pasqually The Kid showed a sinister smile and said
Pasqually:
You can just delete that file, this database queen won’t date a desert rat
Chuck E. Cheese:
They looked at Helen she sure was pretty, playing a piano programmed with MIDI.
Smart and sweet, of that there was no doubt. Burp said
Mr. Munch:
Kid I’m not fooling and my laptop’s loading ready for dueling, you and I are gonna have to shoot this out
Chuck E. Cheese & Jasper T. Jowls:
Two computer cowboys only one could be the best
at the Silicon Valley Showdown fastest mouse in the west
Chuck E. Cheese:
Pasqually The Kid sipped his pizza sauce and said
Pasqually:
Friend I can kick your dos.
No man in life can top my process speed.
Maybe you’ve had a lot of practice
pointing that cursor at a bunch of cactus,
but I’ll blow you away like you were a tumbleweed
Mr. Munch:
I’ve just come from a real hard drive
Chuck E. Cheese:
Said Burp
Mr. Munch:
And there’s not a man alive with a system
whose kilohertz I can’t out duel.
So just let the lady come with me
and keep your finger away from that function key.
You boot up, you’re going to Boot Hill
Chuck E. Cheese:
Pasqually said
Pasqually:
This is a real small town so one of us is getting powered down.
We’ll settle this outside when it hits high noon
Chuck E. Cheese:
Helen opened an Indian totem,
revealing her powerful high speed modem.
A message said
Helen Henny:
Send help and send it soon
Chuck E. Cheese & Jasper T. Jowls:
Two computer cowboys only one could be the best
at the Silicon Valley Showdown fastest mouse in the west
Chuck E. Cheese: Out in the street the dust and wind blows.
People go running and shut down their windows.
Wyatt Burp straightened his hat with a steady paw
Pasqually:
It’s time to log off
Chuck E. Cheese:
Pasqually quips as the sun sparkles on his silicon chips.
Both men smile and then they both say
Mr. Munch & Pasqually:
Draw
Jasper T. Jowls:
Two mice were drawn just like lightning.
Both are quick with finger’s tightening.
Hard to say which one of them was first.
But when the floppies all were fired,
no one was hurt or even tired.
That’s when Sheriff Cheese said
Chuck E. Cheese:
You’re the worst.
The fastest mouse in all the land
has already won Helen Henny’s hand.
That mouse is me
Jasper T. Jowls:
He told them with a frown.
Then in a blaze of megabytes,
carefully keeping them out of his sights.
He ran those cyber snakes right out of town
Helen Henny:
My hero
Chuck E. Cheese & Helen Henny & Jasper T. Jowls:
Two computer cowboys really failed the test
at the Silicon Valley Showdown fastest mouse in the west.
Sheriff Chuck E. showed them only one could be the best
at the Silicon Valley Showdown fastest mouse in the west
Chuck E. Cheese:
Yippie ky yay. Well yee haw and get along little doggies. That’s my kind of horse play. If you think that adventure was special, wait till you see my next one, partners. So don’t mosey too far away cause I’ll be back in just a little while. See you then