January 1993 Show

Narrator:

Spanning the globe.

Chuck E. Cheese:

Hold it Munch, he said spanning the globe not fanning the globe.

[Munch laughs]

Narrator:

It’s time for the Chuck E. Cheese news!

Chuck E. Cheese:

Well hello news watchers! Y’know before we start today I wanted to answer a question that lots of you have been asking. “Chuck E” you ask, “Why are you doing a news show on tv?”. Well the answers simple, see I used to be an old newspaper man. But it wasn’t working out you see, I just can’t make any money selling old newspapers.

[Newspapers crash as they land on the floor]

Chuck E. Cheese:

And now let us go directly to this special live story from Helen Henny on “Hen on The Street”.

[Scene shifts to Helen standing on the street]

Helen Henny:

Thank you Chuck E! The news here on the street is that it would be much safer to be on the sidewalk! Oh, you boys and girls should especially remember these rules about the streets: never go into the street chasing a toy or pet, always remember to stop look and listen for cars, only cross streets at the corners, and if there’s not a stop light that tells you when to cross, make sure you have a grown up help you! This is Helen Henny, your “Hen on The Street”, getting off the street right now, woah!

[Scene shifts back to Chuck]

Chuck E. Cheese:

Thanks for that important story Helen. That’s good advice for all of us. And now let’s hear from sports hound Jasper T. Jowls for some up to the minute scores!

[Scene shifts to Jasper in front of the ski ball machines]

Jasper T. Jowls:

Thanks Chuck E! And let me check on the latest scores. Let’s see, over there at the ski ball little Jesse just got 150 points! Sarah got 90. And Carter winds up for his pitch and, whoops! The ski ball is heading for the salad bar! Meanwhile over there at the whack-a-mole game, Rashad came back from a disappointing no hitter and scored a personal best of 9 whacked moles, wow! And those are the latest scores!

[Scene shifts back to Chuck]

Chuck E. Cheese:

Thanks Jasper, and that’s it for now folks! So until later, this is Chuck E. Cheese saying: that’s if something important is happening somewhere, it’s news to me!

Chuck E. Cheese:

Hey, everybody. We’re taking you behind the scenes with the CEC TV remote cam

Cast member:

Hey, how you doing, Chuck E.?

Chuck E. Cheese:

Well, since you guys are taking care of people’s pizza requests, we thought we’d do a musical request for you. What would you like to hear?

Cast member:

Hey, how about playing some soul man?

Chuck E. Cheese:

You got it

Mr. Munch:

Ok, now we’re cooking for the kitchen crew and for you folks right here. And to deliver the goods

Jasper T. Jowls:

Sort of a pizza delivery

Helen Henny:

Here’s our very own Pasqually

Chuck E. Cheese:

Take it away, big guy

Pasqually:(Singing)

Coming to you on a dusty road.

Good music, I got a truckload.

And when you hear it, you’ve got something.

Don’t worry cause I’m coming

All:(Singing)

I’m a soul man.

I’m a soul man.

I’m a soul man.

I’m a soul man

Pasqually:(Singing)

I got what I got the hard way,

I play it better each and every day.

So boys and girls, don’t you fret, no.

Cause you ain’t seen nothing yet

All:(Singing)

I’m a soul man.

I’m a soul man.

I’m a soul man.

I’m a soul man

Pasqually:(Singing)

Well, I was brought up on a side street.

Learned how to play before I could eat.

I was educated here at Chuck E. Cheese.

When I start playing, all I do is please

All:(Singing)

I’m a soul man.

I’m a soul man.

I’m a soul man.

I’m a soul

Pasqually:(Singing)

Well grab a rope and I’ll pull you in,

I’ll give you hope and be your only best friend.

Yeah

Mr. Munch:(Singing)

Yeah

Pasqually:(Singing)

Yeah

Mr. Munch:

Yeah. Now I wanna tell you folks a little something about soul

Jasper T. Jowls:

You mean like filet of soul?

Mr. Munch:

Nah, that sounds fishy

Helen Henny:

You mean the sole of a shoe?

Mr. Munch:

Sorry, you’re on the wrong foot too. I’m talking about the kind of soul you feel inside when you’re with a friend you love

Jasper T. Jowls:

Like now

All:(Singing)

I’m a soul man.

I’m a soul man.

I’m a soul man.

I’m a soul man.

I’m a soul man.

I’m a soul man.

Soul man

Jasper T. Jowls:

Yeah, it’s great to have friends. But I just saw someone who doesn’t seem to have many friends at all

Helen Henny:

Well who’s that?

Jasper T. Jowls:

My dentist

Chuck E. Cheese:

Oh yeah, he has been looking down in the mouth

Jasper T. Jowls:

Oh no, I’m serious. Even though the dentist helps us keep our teeth shiny and clean, no one is very happy to see him

Helen Henny:

Did he tell you this?

Jasper T. Jowls:

Just the other day when I was having my canine teeth cleaned.

And I’ll tell you what else he said too.

Jasper T. Jowls:(Singing)

Well my temperature’s rising and my feet on the floor.

Twenty people rocking and they’re screaming for more.

Tell me hey baby I don’t know what you got,

but you better take it easy cause this place is hot.

And I’m so glad we made it.

Yes I’m so glad we made it.

You’ve got to give me some loving

All:(Singing)

Give me give me some loving

Jasper T. Jowls:(Singing)

Give me some loving

All:(Singing)

Give me give me some loving

Jasper T. Jowls:(Singing)

Give some loving

All:(Singing)

Everyday

Jasper T. Jowls:(Singing)

Well I feel so good, everything is sounding high.

Better take it easy cause this place is on fire.

Been a hard day and my band is doing good,

now I’m gonna relax.

I think everybody should.

And I’m so glad we made it.

I said I’m so glad we made it.

You’ve got to give me some loving

All:(Singing)

Give me give me some loving

Jasper T. Jowls:(Singing)

Give me some loving

All:(Singing)

Give me give me some loving

Jasper T. Jowls:(Singing)

Give me some loving

All:(Singing)

Everyday

Chuck E. Cheese:

Wow, after that we’d love to take a little break. But we’ll be right back with more fun and music.

Chuck E. Cheese:

Hi, everybody. And welcome to the country’s greatest show

Pasqually:

Ooh, can he say that?

Mr. Munch:

With his name over the door, he can say whatever he wants

Chuck E. Cheese:

Ok, what I meant was we’ve got a great show and it’s all country music

Jasper T. Jowls:

And that’s music to my ears

Jasper T. Jowls & Mr. Munch & Pasqually:(Singing)

Oh play me some mountain music

like grandma and grandpa used to play.

And I’ll float on down the river to a Cajun hideaway

Jasper T. Jowls:(Singing)

Drift away like old Tom Sawyer, ride a raft with old Huck Finn.

Take a nap like rip van winkle daydreaming again

Jasper T. Jowls & Mr. Munch & Pasqually:(Singing)

Oh play me some mountain music

like grandma and grandpa used to play.

And I’ll float on down the river to a Cajun hideaway

Pasqually:

You know, Cajun cooking is very popular now. Blackened catfish and blackened redfish

Chuck E. Cheese:

Why don’t we try cooking some of that stuff?

Pasqually:

Well I tried making blackened pizza but it never caught on

Chuck E. Cheese:

Too spicy?

Pasqually:

No, too smoky. I couldn’t even see the pizza oven, burned those little pizzas to a crisp

Jasper T. Jowls:(Singing)

Swim across the river just to prove that I’m a man.

Spend the day just being lazy, just being nature’s friend.

Play some back home come home music

Mr. Munch:(Singing)

That comes from the heart

Pasqually:(Singing)

Play something with lots of feeling

Jasper T. Jowls & Pasqually:(Singing)

That’s where music has to start

Jasper T. Jowls & Mr. Munch & Pasqually:(Singing)

Oh play me some mountain music

Just like grandma and grandpa used to play.

Then I’ll float on down the river to a Cajun hideaway

Hey, hey

Jasper T. Jowls:

Hold on everybody, I can hear it coming

Helen Henny:

What is it, Jasper?

Jasper T. Jowls:

Oh doggies, I can tell it’s gonna be a big one

Mr. Munch:

Is it far off?

Jasper T. Jowls:

Nope, it’s almost here now

Chuck E. Cheese:

Well what is it?

Jasper T. Jowls:

It’s my solo! Play magic fingers, play. A little claw hammer now. Yeah

Mr. Munch:

The paws that refresh

Helen Henny:

He’s the picker of the litter

Chuck E. Cheese:

Look at that fur fly

Pasqually:

Oh my goodness

Jasper T. Jowls & Mr. Munch & Pasqually:(Singing)

Oh, play me some mountain music.

Oh, play me some mountain music.

Oh, play me some mountain music

Jasper T. Jowls:(Singing)

Oh, play

Chuck E. Cheese:

Those must’ve been the smoky mountains cause we’re definitely smoking

Pasqually:

And for this next song we definitely want everybody to clap their hands

Chuck E. Cheese:

Yeah

Helen Henny:

Kids and grownups get your hands ready

Jasper T. Jowls:

Here we go

Chuck E. Cheese:(Singing)

There was a farmer had a dog

and Bingo was his name o

Chuck E. Cheese & Kids:(Singing)

B I N G O,

B I N G O,

B I N G O

and Bingo was his name o

Chuck E. Cheese:(Singing)

There was a farmer had a dog and bingo was his name o

Chuck E. Cheese & Kids:(Singing)

I N G O,

I N G O,

I N G O

and bingo was his name o

Chuck E. Cheese:(Singing)

There was a farmer had a dog and bingo was his name o

Chuck E. Cheese & Kids:(Singing)

N G O,

N G O,

N G O

and bingo was his name o

Chuck E. Cheese:(Singing)

There was a farmer had a dog and bingo was his name o

Chuck E. Cheese & Kids:(Singing)

G O,

G O,

G O

and bingo was his name o

Chuck E. Cheese:(Singing)

There was a farmer had a dog and bingo was his name o

Chuck E. Cheese & Kids:(Singing)

O,

O,

O

and bingo was his name o

Chuck E. Cheese:(Singing)

There was a farmer had a dog and bingo was his name o

Chuck E. Cheese & Kids:(Singing)

B I N G O,

B I N G O,

B I N G O

and bingo was his name o

Jasper T. Jowls & Pasqually:(Singing)

Play me some mountain music.

Oh, play me some mountain music.

Oh, play me some mountain music.

Oh play it

Chuck E. Cheese:

Now that’s what I call country cooking. And we’ll be cooking up more fun for you in just a bit. See you soon

Chuck E. Cheese:

Ok, is everybody ready to fiesta with all our Spanish speaking friends?

Jasper T. Jowls:

Si si, Chuck E., muy bien

Chuck E. Cheese:

Jasper, where did you learn Spanish?

Jasper T. Jowls:

From a south of the border collie

[Vamos a bailar plays]

Pasqually:

You see, it doesn’t matter if you speak English or Spanish or Italian. Friendship is a language that everybody understands

Mr. Munch:

Well I’ll tell you something I don’t understand

Helen Henny:

What’s that, Munch?

Mr. Munch:

I don’t understand why some of these folks aren’t up out of their seats dancing

Chuck E. Cheese:

Yeah, a few of you are still sitting down on the job

Helen Henny:

But not for long. Now listen everyone.

Helen Henny:(Singing)

You say I know it’s a waste of time, there’s no use trying.

So scared that life’s gonna pass you by, your spirit dying.

Not long ago, I could feel your strength and your devotion.

What was so clear is now overcast with mixed emotions.

Deep in your heart is the answer.

Find it, I know it’ll pull you through.

Get on your feet.

Get up and make it happen.

Get on your feet.

Stand up and take some action.

I think it’s true that we’ve all been through some nasty weather.

Let’s understand that we’re here to handle things together.

You gotta keep holding onto tomorrow.

There’s so much in life that’s meant for you.

Get on your feet.

Get up and make it happen.

Get on your feet.

Stand up and take some action.

Get on your feet.

Don’t stop before it’s over.

Get on your feet.

The weight is off your shoulder

Chuck E. Cheese:

Ok, now everybody get up

Jasper T. Jowls:

Yeah

Chuck E. Cheese:

We’re gonna get this joint moving

Jasper T. Jowls:

That’s right. Take off those somber faces and put on your samba faces

Mr. Munch:

Yeah, stand up you and you. Good

Pasqually:

Now put your hands way up in the air

Helen Henny:

Now let your feet move to the beat

Jasper T. Jowls:

And shake your tail if you’ve got one

Chuck E. Cheese:

Terrific, now keep it going

Helen Henny:(Singing)

Get on your feet.

Get up and make it happen.

Get on your feet.

Stand up, stand up, and take some action.

Get on your feet.

Don’t stop before it’s over.

Get on your feet.

Get up. Get up, get up and make it happen

Chuck E. Cheese:

And now you can get on your feet cause we’re taking a break. But don’t walk far, we’ll be right back

Narrator:

On the land, in the air, or out at sea, if something is happening somewhere,

Chuck E. Cheese:

It’s news to me! Hehehehe

Narrator:

CECTV presents the Chuck E. Cheese news! Featuring news hound Jasper T. Jowls! Plucky reporter Helen Henny! Foreign correspondent Pasqually!

Pasqually:

Eh, Ciao! Hehe.

Narrator:

And Mr. Munch, taking care of the leftovers!

Mr. Munch:

Mmm, did I hear somebody say Chow? Haha, mmm.

Narrator:

Take it away Chuck E!

Chuck E. Cheese:

Thanks! You know that announcers voice over lessons are really starting to pay off, hehe. Hello everybody and welcome to the show that does not bring you both sides of the news! Hey, we don’t need to! Cause there’s nothing on the other side of the news! See, just blank paper! Haha. But anyway, on this side of the news we’ve got some terrific stories for you today. And they’re all about cars! And our first report comes from our own news hound, Jasper T. Jowls!

[Scene shifts to Jasper]

Jasper T. Jowls:

Thank you Chuck E! I have here a fascinating new survey on dogs and cars! Which was just released at the headquarters of the triple A association!

Chuck E. Cheese:

That’s the American Automoblie Association right?

Jasper T. Jowls:

Uh well no. This triple A is the Arf Arf Association. Heh, hey I said it was about dogs.

Chuck E. Cheese:

The Arf Arf Association?

Jasper T. Jowls:

Anyway, this survey asked dogs several questions about cars. The first was “Why do dogs chase cars?”. 50% want to go for a ride, 30% want to be with the people inside the car, 15% want to bury the car in the backyard, and the other 5% had no opinion cause they were scratching fleas.

[Jasper scratches at his neck]

When asked “Why do dogs hang their heads out car windows?”, 60% of dogs said it was to get a nice breeze, 25% said it was so they could pretend to be Superman, 10% said because they thought they’d look silly with their tails sticking out the window, and the other 5% still had no opinion because they were scratching fleas.

[Jasper scratches at his neck a little longer]

Jasper T. Jowls:

And the final question was “Why don’t dogs drive cars?”. 50% of dogs said they’d rather go for a nice walk, 27% said “hey, where do I have to go? I’m a dog!”, 18% said it was hard enough getting a dog license let alone a drivers license, and the last 5%, oh-

[Jasper starts to scratch at his neck even more]

Jasper T. Jowls:

5%- 5% still had no opinion because

Chuck E. Cheese:

Because they were scratching their fleas! Heheheh.

Jasper T. Jowls:

Yeah, oh get off of me you-

Chuck E. Cheese:

Uh, thanks Jasper. We were all itching for the survey results. And now, with a report on auto safety, here’s Helen Henny!

[Scene shifts to Helen]

Helen Henny:

Thanks Chuck E! Y’know, one of the most important safety rules for boys and girls who ride in cars is to always remember to fasten your seatbelt. That’s why the triple Egg Association-

Chuck E. Cheese:

Did you say triple A?

Helen Henny:

Uh no the triple Egg Association. It’s a chicken thing.

Chuck E. Cheese:

Oh.

Helen Henny:

Hm, anyway, the group has come up with a new bumper sticker that says " you’re not being chicken when you buck- buck- buckle up!" Buck- buck- buckle up, get it? Hahaha.

Chuck E. Cheese:

Haha, yeah that’s uh pretty good. Uh but it’s real good advice for all you kids too! Buckle up those seat belts every time ok? And now, let’s hear from someone who can hardly fasten any belt, our wide, wide, weatherman, Mr. Munch!

[Scene shifts to Munch]

Mr. Munch:

Well, thank you Chuck E. As you can see we got us a whole heap of weather. What with things going this way, and that way, and every which way. Why frankly I can’t figure out what’s going on so let’s just take a look at the satellite photo ok?

[Screen shows an actual photograph of a satellite]

Mr. Munch:

Hohohowee! Just look at that satellite photo! Now that’s a humdinger boy! Haha, now back to you Chuck E!

Chuck E. Cheese:

But Munch, you never told us about the weather!

Mr. Munch:

Heheh, you know, you’re right! Haha, we’ll let me just see here. Haha, I can just see out the front door from here and uh, haha, ok. Y’know what the weather was doing when you got here? Well it’s still doing it! And now back to you Chuck E!

Chuck E. Cheese:

Thanks Munch. Heh. And thank you everybody for watching! Stay tuned for lots more fun and remember, if no news is good news, then we’ve got the best news on tv! See ya later!

[Jasper enters chucks studio still scratching his head]

Jasper T. Jowls:

Oo- ow- ouch- get off of me-

Chuck E. Cheese:

Here I got it.

[Chuck scratches Jaspers head]

Jasper T. Jowls:

Oooo, thanks I needed that.