January 2014 Show

January 2014 Segment 1

[Song: She Loves You]

Chuck E., Munch and Jasper: (singing) She loves you, yeah, yeah, yeah She loves you, yeah, yeah, yeah She loves you, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

Chuck E. and Jasper: (singing) You think you’ve lost your love Well, I saw her yesterday It’s you she’s thinkin’ of And she told me what to say

Chuck E. Cheese: (singing) She says she loves you

Chuck E. and Jasper: (singing) And you know that can’t be bad Yes, she loves you And you know you should be glad She said you hurt her so She almost lost her mind But now she says she knows You’re not the hurtin’ kind

Chuck E. Cheese: (singing) She says she loves you

Chuck E. and Jasper: (singing) And you know that can’t be bad Yes, she loves you And you know you should be glad

Chuck E., Helen and Jasper: (singing) Ooh

Chuck E., Munch and Jasper: (singing) She loves you, yeah, yeah, yeah She loves you, yeah, yeah, yeah

Chuck E. and Jasper: (singing) And with a love like that You know you should be glad You know it’s up to you I think it’s only fair Pride can hurt you, too Apologize to her Because she loves you And you know that can’t be bad Yes, she loves you And you know you should be glad

Chuck E., Helen and Jasper: (singing) Ooh

Chuck E., Munch and Jasper: (singing) She loves you, yeah, yeah, yeah She loves you, yeah, yeah, yeah

Chuck E. and Jasper: (singing) With a love like that You know you should be glad And with a love like that You know you should be glad And with a love like that You know you should

Chuck E., Munch and Jasper: (singing) Be glad Yeah, yeah, yeah Yeah, yeah, yeah

All: (singing) Yeah

[Song Ends]

[Applause]

Chuck E. Cheese: All right! We’re off to a great start! Wouldn’t you say, guys?

[Goofy Background Music]

Jasper T. Jowls: Oh yeah!

Helen Henny: I agree, Chuck E.

Mr. Munch: The pizza is cookin’ and I’m feelin’ fine.

Pasqually The Chef: I am-a #sohappy! I’m-a gonna go tweet on-a Twitter! Hehehehehehehe

[Laugh Track]

Chuck E. Cheese: Ha ha. Sounds good, Pasqually.

Nigel The Sasquatch: Hey Chuck E. You gotta help me.

Chuck E. Cheese: Oh hey! Everyone look, it’s Nigel The Sasquatch! How are you, Nigel?

Nigel The Sasquatch: Ah! I wish I could say things are peachy, Chuck. But I’m on the run!

Jasper T. Jowls: Oh no! Did you not pay your taxes?

[Laugh Track]

[Munch Laughs]

Pasqually The Chef: Oh my goodness, Nigel! For the love of all-a things cheesy, you have to pay your taxes! I went ten years without a proper I-9 form on file with the IRS.

Nigel The Sasquatch: Oh really? What happened?

Pasqually The Chef: Well, I had to pick up a second job as an Elvis impersonator in order to pay them back.

[Laugh Track]

Chuck E. Cheese: Ha ha ha.

Nigel The Sasquatch: Oh wow! Well, I’m not runnin’ from the IRS. As far as I know, I have all the proper paperwork in order.

Helen Henny: Well then, what’s the problem, Nigel?

Nigel The Sasquatch: Well, as you guys may or may not know, I’m a sasquatch.

Mr. Munch: You mean a bigfoot.

[Dramatic Music]

Nigel The Sasquatch: I’m going to pretend that you did not just say that. My feet are perfectly proportional to my body. I’ll have you know we sasquatches have been trying to shed that stereotype for ages.

Mr. Munch: What’s wrong with stereotypes?

Helen Henny: Munch, do you know what a stereotype is?

Mr. Munch: Of course! I use them all the time!

Jasper T. Jowls: I’m 200% sure that you don’t. Use it in a sentence.

Mr. Munch: Okay fine. Mhm. Hey, I really like this song. Somebody turn up the stereotype!

[Laugh Track]

Jasper T. Jowls: That’s what I thought.

Helen Henny: Munch, I think you’re thinking of a stereo.

Mr. Munch: Isn’t stereo short for stereotype?

Pasqually The Chef: Hehehehehe!

[Laugh Track]

Nigel The Sasquatch: Munch, my purple cousin. A stereotype is saying something about a group, as if it is true for every member of that group. Like, all sasquatches have big feet. It’s just not true! In fact, my aunt Ruby is only a size three.

Pasqually The Chef: Oh, she sounds nice! Hehehe, ooh.

Nigel The Sasquatch: Yeah, she’s a peach.

Chuck E. Cheese: Nigel, who or what are you running from?

Nigel The Sasquatch: Oh right! Welp, as I was saying…

[Mystical Music]

Nigel The Sasquatch: As a proud member of the sasquatch kingdom, I have made a solemn vow to never have my picture taken. It’s a strongly held belief among our kind.

Jasper T. Jowls: But you’re so photogenic!

Helen Henny: Oh I understand Nigel. I’ll only let my picture be taken on good feather days.

[Laugh Track]

Chuck E. Cheese: Ha ha ha.

Nigel The Sasquatch: Heh anywho, I was out for my morning stroll, picking daisies and minding my own business, when all of a sudden this little muskrat comes out of nowhere! Pointing a camera at my face and screaming something about world domination.

Chuck E. Cheese: Woahoah, that sounds intense!

Nigel The Sasquatch: Oh, it was! Believe you me!

Pasqually The Chef: Well, at least you’ve caught up on your taxes! Hehehe. I have to perform at an Elvis themed bar mitzvah tonight. Kids these days love their Elvis!

Nigel The Sasquatch: Who doesn’t?

[Laugh Track]

[Nigel Laughs]

Chuck E. Cheese: Ha ha ha.

[Tree Rustling]

Nigel The Sasquatch: Oh, uh oh. Sorry guys, I have to go. I uh, I think that muskrat is right on my tail! Aaggghhh!

Chuck E. Cheese: Don’t worry kids, Nigel is a pretty resilient fellow I’m sure he’ll be just fine. We’ll try and check back with him a little later. Until then, let’s watch some CEC TV, what do you say?