Showbiz Pizza Place Tape 1 was the first ever showtape produced for Showbiz Pizza Place's hosting the Rock-afire Explosion.
Despite the tape's manufacture date being January 12, 1980, it wouldn't debut at a ShowBiz Pizza Place store until July of that year.[1]
This tape would be the introduction of the Rock-afire Explosion to first time ShowBiz Pizza customers and staff at the opening of the first stores. Each segment focuses on a main character and sets up their archetype and situation on stage.
Heartaches sets up Dook's emotional singing, but doesn't include any dialogue.
Roast Beef Sandwich introduces Billy Bob and Looney Bird running Smitty's Super Service Station and their solution to the 1979 Oil Crisis[2] with Gas-O-Hol. This scenario presents Billy Bob's caring personality, and shows Looney Bird's drunken craziness through his use of drinking the Gas-O-Hol.
Catch-A-Wave introduces Beach Bear's surfing personality and his goofy voice.
Hit the Cymbal shows off Rolfe and Earl's dynamic of insulting eachother- with Rolfe's egotistical showman attitude, and Earl's uncaring sarcastic outlook. Throughout their comedy act, it seems like they're at odds, but it resolves with the reveal they're doing what they can to entertain the audience together.
School Days oddly doesn't show much for Fatz, and is rather a section for the center stage to speak with eachother. Sun and Moon also speak with the band despite rarely appearing later on.
Mitzi makes zero appearances in this tape outside backup singing, making a proper introduction for her not come till much later.
Notably this tape essentially loops its main segments twice, with every other loop containing a Rolfe & Earl skit.
Segment 1
Segment 2
Segment 3
Segment 4
Segment 5
Here we go again
Fatz: (singing)
Yip-dip-dip-dip-wueb-wueb-wueb-bum-bum-bum-bum-bo-bo-bo-bo
Dim-bdim-buh-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum heartaches
Dook: (singing)
Heartaches
Fatz: (singing)
Dim-dim-dim-dim
Dook: (singing)
Heartaches
Fatz: (singing)
Dim-dim-dim-dim
Dook: (singing)
Heartaches
Fatz: (singing)
Dim-dim-dim-dim
Dook: (singing)
Heartaches
Fatz: (singing)
Dim-dim-dim-dim
Dook: (singing)
Heart-
Fatz: (singing)
Dim-dim-dim-dim
Dook: (singing)
-aches
Fatz: (singing)
Dim-dim-dim-dim
Dook: (singing)
Heart-
Fatz: (singing)
Dim-dim-dim-dim
Dook: (singing)
-aches
Fatz: (singing)
Yip-dip-dip-dip-wueb-wueb-wueb-bum-bum-bum-bum-bo-bo-bo-bo
Dim-bdim-buh-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum heartaches
Dook: (singing)
Heartaches, heartaches
My love for you meant only heartaches
Your kiss is such a sacred thing to me
Oh I can't believe its just a burn-ning memory
Heartaches, heartaches
It doesn't matter how my heart breaks
I could be happy with someone new, but my heart aches for-
Fatz: (singing)
Yip-dip-dip-dip-wueb-wueb-wueb-bum-bum-bum-bum-bo-bo-bo-bo
Dim-bdim-buh-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum heartaches
Dook: (singing)
Woah-oh-o-oh-o-oh-o-ohh yea
Fatz: (spoken)
Y'know, my love for you meant only heartache
Dook: (singing)
Heartaches, heart-aches
Fatz: (singing)
Dim-dim-dim-dim
Dook: (singing)
Heartaches, heart-aches
Ahh
Fatz: (Spoken and singing)
I can't believe your love is just a burnin' memory
Yo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bum
Dook: (singing)
Heartaches
Fatz: (singing)
Dim-dim-dim-dim
Dook: (singing)
Heartaches
Fatz: (singing)
Dim-dim-dim-doh
Dook: (singing)
It doesn't matter how my ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-heart breaks
I could be happy with someone new, but my heart aches for-
Fatz: (singing)
Yip-dip-dip-dip-wueb-wueb-wueb-bum-bum-bum-bum-bo-bo-bo-bo
Dim-bdim-buh-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum
Heartaches
All: (singing)
Di-di-di-dum
You give me those heartaches
Di-di-di-dum
You give me those heartaches
Haa-aa-aa-aart
Heart-aches, heart
Heart-aches, heart
Heart-aches, heartaches
[Banjo and piano plays quietly over speech]
Billy Bob:
Howdy folks, I'm Billy Bob. That's three B's, two L's, a I, a Y, and a O. (laughs)
Its real nice yall could drop in on me today, things gets kinda quiet here at Smitty's Super Service Station sometimes. What with the gas sit-i-ation the way it is n' all.[2] We've had to stop selling gasoline altogether.
Once it got past twenty five cent a gallon, I didn't have no more friends what could afford it no-how. But... things'll be alright soon- (worrysome)
Cause, as you can see, I'm making up a new fangled formula down here on the floor. (excitedly)
Yeah its made of lots of good stuff and its in this little container and its gets all boiled up n' everything, and it comes out this long tube...
[Billy Bob plays his guitar strings higher then lower in pitch while explaining]
All the way down into this barrel, and I call it Gas-O-Hol. Yeah, we can use it in our car, or drink it!
Billy Bob & Looney Bird: (singing)
And havin' such a wonderful day
Billy Bob:
Hey there Looney Bird! (excitedly)
Looney Bird:
Hey there Billy Bob! (screaming)
Billy Bob:
Folks, I'd like ya to meet my friend here, this here's the Looney Bird!
[Billy Bob twangs his guitar in a high pitch]
I can't afford a watchdog, so Looney Bird here moved in to watch over my secret formula!
[Another guitar twang]
How much Gas-O-Hol we got so far Looney Bird?
Looney Bird:
Just a minute Billy Bob I'll go check and see!
[Another guitar twang]
Billy Bob:
Here's probably gonna measure real accurate like exactly how much Gas-O-Hol we got.
[Guitar twangs in a worrying fashion]
[Elongated slurping noises made by Looney Bird]
[Guitar twangs drunkenly]
Looney Bird:
We ain't got too much yet Billy Bob. (worried)
Billy Bob:
Oh dear.
Looney Bird:
I guess you better put on some more corn squeezin's huh Billy Bob?
Billy Bob:
Yeah I guess I better. I just hope the Looney Bird don't become some kinda Gas-O-Holic.
Hey Looney Bird, its time for your favorite part of the show! (excitedly)
Looney Bird:
You mean its time to go already-?
Billy Bob:
No! I mean its time to get down and get funky- sort of.
[Song: Roast Beef Sandwich begins playing]
Billy Bob: (singing)
Roast beef sandwich and a- pizza
Roast beef sandwich and a- pizza
John and Jane and all the gang are gonna have themselves a ball
Eating roast beef sandwich and a- pizza
Roast beef sandwich and a- pizza
Roast beef sandwich and a- pizza
All the fellas and the chicks gettin' calories and kicks
Eating roast beef sandwich and a- pizza
Billy Bob & Looney Bird: (singing)
Chompin' to the music of the jukebox
Anybody got another dime?
Chompin' to the music of the jukebox cause
We're havin' such a wonderful time
Billy Bob: (singing)
Just eating roast beef sandwich and a- pizza
Roast beef sandwich and a- pizza
Its terrific daddy-o
How the kids at school will go
For a roast beef sandwich and a- pizza
[Guitar solo]
Billy Bob & Looney Bird: (singing)
Chompin' to the music of the jukebox
Anybody got another dime?
Hand it down and drop it in the jukebox cause
We're havin' such a wonderful time
Billy Bob: (singing)
Just eating roast beef sandwich and a- pizza
Roast beef sandwich and a- pizza
Billy Bob With Looney Bird:(singing)
Its terrific, its the most
And its happenin' coast-to-coast
Billy Bob: (singing)
Eating roast beef sandwich and a- pizza
[Song ends]
Billy Bob:
So long everybody! See you next time!
[Banjo jingle plays for 20s]
Catch a wave and you're sittin' on top of the world!
Beach Bear: (singing)
Don't be afraid to try the greatest sport around!
All: (singing)
Catch a wave
Catch a wave
Mitzi: (singing)
If you don't you best not put it down
Dook: (singing)
You paddle out turn around and raise
And baby that's all there is to the coastline craze
You gotta-
All: (singing)
Catch a wave and you're sittin' on top of the world!
Oo-aa-oo-aa-oo-aa-oo-aa
Beach Bear: (singing)
Not just a fad cause it's been going on so long!
All: (singing)
Catch a wave
Catch a wave
Mitzi: (singing)
They said it wouldn't last too long
Dook: (singing)
They'll eat their words with a fork and spoon
And watch 'em they'll hit the road and all be surfin' soon
And when they-
All: (singing)
Catch a wave and you're sittin' on top of the world!
Oo-aa-oo-aa-oo-aa-oo-aa
[Organ Solo]
[Guitar Solo]
All: (singing)
Catch a wave and you're sittin' on top of the world!
Oo-aa-oo-aa-oo-aa-oo-aa
Beach Bear: (singing)
So take a tip from a top-notch surfer bear!
All: (singing)
Catch a wave
Catch a wave
Mitzi: (singing)
But don't you treat it like a toy!
Dook: (singing)
Just get away from the shady turf
And baby go catch some rays on the sunny surf
And when you-
All: (singing)
Catch a wave and you're sittin' on top of the world!
Mitzi: (singing)
Way up high, up on top of the world (Oo-aa-oo-aa-oo-aa-oo-aa)
All: (singing)
Catch a wave and you're sittin' on top of the world!
Mitzi: (singing)
Way up high, up on top of the world (Oo-aa-oo-aa-oo-aa-oo-aa)
All: (singing)
Catch a wave and you're sittin' on top of the world!
Mitzi: (singing)
[Wolf Pack 5 Theme Music Plays] Rolfe: Okay Ladies And Gentlemen Boys Ans Girls It's Time For The Rolfe DeWolfe Show Featuring The Master Of Comedy Himself Rolfe DeWolfe [Cymbal Crash] Earl: Hey Rolfe You Forgot To Introduce Your Right-Hand Man Rolfe: Oh Yeah This Cute Little Guy Here Is Earl Schmerle Earl: Yeah And This Stupid Looking Guy Here Is Ralph The Wolf Rolfe: The Name Is Rolfe Earl Earl: Huh Rolfe: Rolfe My Name Is Pronounced Rolfe DeWolfe Not Ralph Earl: Oh Excuse Ralph But Rolfe This Stupid Looking Guy Here Is Rolfe Dewolfe Rolfe: That's Better Hey We're Really Gonna Have Some Fun Now You Know Earl And I Just Flew In From Las Vegas Last Night And Boy Are Our Arms Tired [Cymbal Crash] Earl: What'd You Do That For Rolfe: What Earl: Hit The Cymbal Rolfe Rolfe: Okay [Cymbal Crash] Earl: No I Mean Why Did You Hit It Rolfe: It Was Earl: Hit The Cymbal Rolfe: Okay [Cymbal Crash] Earl: I'm Talking About Why You Keep Hitting The Cymbal Rolfe: Because It's Real Funny Earl: What's So Funny About That Rolfe: I Don't Know But Every Time I Do It People Laugh Earl: Do What Rolfe: Hit The Cymbal Earl: I Can't You Got The Stick [Cymbal Crash] Rolfe: Hey Earl Earl: Yeah Rolfe Rolfe: Are You Ready For A Knock Knock Joke Earl: Are You For Real Rolfe: Pay Attention Earl Cause Here It Comes Knock Knock Earl: Come In Rolfe: No Earl Knock Knock Earl: Come In Rolfe: Earl Knock Knock Earl: Well Come On In Rolfe: Earl You Supposed To Say Who's There Earl: I Know Who's There It Must Be You Because You Too Stupid To Ring The Doorbell [Cymbal Crash] Rolfe: Hey Let's Get Serious For A Moment Shall We Earl Earl: You're Rolfe What You Want Rolfe: Earl I'm Going Out On My Own Earl: What You Mean You're Gonna Split Up The Act Rolfe: That's Right Earl It's Time We Went Our Separate Ways Earl: You Promised Rolfe (Laughs) Rolfe: Uh Serious This Time Earl I'm Going To Leave You Earl: But Rolfe You Can't Leave Me I've Given You The Best Years Of My Life You Were Nothing Before You Found Me Rolfe: That's Right But Now I'm A Big Star And I Don't Need You Anymore Earl: Have You Lost Your Mind Rolfe: Why Have You Found One (Laughs) [Cymbal Crash] Earl: Yeah And I Knew It Was Yours Because I Found It At The Library Rolfe: Oh What Why Thank You Earl For That Compliment Earl: Yeah It Was Using It As A Doorstop (Laughs) Hit The Cymbal Rolfe [Cymbal Crash] Rolfe: Earl I Didn't Come Here To Be Insulted Earl: Oh Yeah Where Do You Usually Go (Laughs) [Cymbal Crash] Earl: You Was Just Joking About Leaving Me Once You're Off Rolfe: Don't Worry Earl I'll Keep You On Hand For A While Longer (Laughing) Earl: All Right [Cymbal Crash] Earl: The Whole World's Going Crazy Rolfe: And That Ain't No Reason For Us Earl: Ain't No Fun Unless You're Crazy Rolfe: Because No One's Is Crazy As Earl: No One Is Crazy As Rolfe And Earl (Singing): No One's Is Crazy As [Wolf Pack 5 Theme Music Plays Again] Rolfe: The Rolfe DeWolfe Show Earl: Thank You Very Rolfe DeWolfe Rolfe: And Is Sidekick Earl: Earl Schmerle And Then Do Rolfe Rolfe: Okay Earl: Okay Rolfe: Okay Earl: Okay Rolfe: Okay Earl: Okay [Cymbal Crash] [Applause] Earl: Us [Cymbal Crash]
All: (singing)
School Days School Days Dear Old Golden Rule Days
Sun:
Good Morning Everybody It's Time To Go To School
Fatz:
Have A Good Morning It's Our Same Old Thing Time To Go To School Time To Go To School Hey Sunshine How Come You Never Have To Go Dusk You
Sun:
I Can't Go To School I Have A Very Busy Schedule Every Day That Is
Fatz:
Why Don't You Go To Tonight School There
Sun:
Silly Boy How Could It Be Night Time If I'm Around
All: (laughing)
Moon:
Excuse Me Did Someone Here Ask For Night Time
Sun:
No I Said How Could It Be Night Time If I'm Around
Moon:
Oh Then I'll Just Bag Out
Fatz:
Strange
Sun:
Now Where Were We Oh Yes You Better Go To School Fatz Or You'll Grow Up To Be A literate
Fatz: Huh You Be Like Beach Bear
Beach Bear: Oh Come On Fatz How Many You Guys Can Say You Spent Four Years In The Third Grade Huh Besides I Have A Very High IQ
Sun:
Then Why Don't You Use Your Brains And Get Fatz To School Today
Beach Bear:
Okay I'll Just Use Psychology Hey Fatz You Know If You Go To School And Study Real Hard You Could Grow Up To Be A Congressman Or A Senator Or Even A President Of The United States Someday
Dook:
You Mean A Big Old Stupid Monkey Like Fatz Could Be President Of Our Country Someday
Beach Bear:
Sure It Happened All The Time
All: (laughing)
Fatz: (singing)
Ring ring goes the bell Summer vacation is really swell But in the fall I be drivin' to class That is only if I can finally gas All of the kids going loop de loop Ding dang bop ioop
Up in the mornin' and off to school The teacher is teaching the Golden Rule Recess and lunch I think I can pass But you can forget about algebra class If anyone asks you "What's the scoop?" Say "Ding dang bop ioop"
Ding dang bop ioop That's all you have to say These words can guarantee role man And make your baby want to dance But if your spirits scoop Say ding dang bioop (Laughing)
[Guitar Solo]
[Piano Break]
Fatz: (singing)
Heil Heil rock and roll The limerent from the days of old The music is hot get out of your seat! Clap your hands and stomp your feet
Shot shot whats the scoop? Ding dang bop ioop
All: (singing)
School Days
Fatz:
If That Don't Bring A Smile To Your Face Just Think Of My Baby Face Ha Ha
